A news website has been set up called HillaryBeatTrump.org, which claims to report its news stories from “the real America where the majority rules,” unsubtly saying that Hillary Clinton is the candidate who should’ve really won the election (oh, imagine that).
Now, while the Democrats and Hillary supporters who want so desperately for Trump to not be President right now can’t actually make it so, they can read these fake news stories and soak in the “alternate facts” and imagine a much happier world where everything’s fine and dandy for Muslims and transgender people.
The headlines envision Clinton as the perfect President
The kind of headlines you’ll find on this fake news website are Hillary Clinton’s approval rating going up and another where it goes down, and her Presidency being ranked in the top five greatest after just one month in office (although the C-SPAN rankings don’t count current Presidents; Obama just made it into 12th place for his first time on the list).
Some are absurd, like God coming out as a Hillary supporter, and some are very meta, like the news of a Social media movement pretending Trump won the election (perhaps Charlie Kaufman wrote that one as a pitch for his next screenplay). Some of the stories involve other figures, like Republican hopeful Ted Cruz confessing to framing OJ Simpson and Hillary awarding Obama the Congressional Medal of Freedom, and some are about how Hillary’s Presidency affects a broader America, like an illegal immigrant winning “Jeopardy!” and make Senators listening to female Senators in “polite silence.” According to the site, The New York Times are branding Hillary’s press conferences in the alternate universe “boring and too sane,” as opposed to Trump’s conferences where he calls Mexicans “rapists” and journalists “the enemy of the American people.”
While the site does acknowledge that its content is satirical, it says that rather than consider itself a peddler of fake news (because unlike the bad kind of fake news, it’s obviously fake and its readers can tell the difference), it considers itself more of a “movement.” It states that America is “in the midst of a Constitutional crisis” and that this website is their “response.” They finish their opening statement with the announcement, “Long live the true President, Hillary Rodham Clinton.”
Clinton’s great cabinet choices
In Hillary Clinton’s White House in this alternate world, her cabinet is much more promising than Trump’s.
Instead of Betsy DeVos, we have Elizabeth Warren. Also, Hillary signs an executive order to bring gender-neutral bathrooms to places, and there’s an effective healthcare system in place called Hillarycare, and March is “racial introspection month.” If only it were real...