I'm sure most of us have been at informal events where older people have had to interact with young people, school events, fetes, Glastonbury! Sometimes the drunk, obnoxious, old rogue steps up to the microphone and the kids all laugh and like him, they can't get enough of him. He swears and eats a pork pie, it goes down a storm. Then the vicar begins to read the programme of the day in beautiful English, occasionally sliding in some phrases he believes are swish and cool. The next few minutes are excruciating. No one gets him, silence, a terrible, awkward silence and then the kids shuffle off.
Someone wings the remains of the pork pie at him.
We all know Jeremy Corbyn can communicate with the young (so no prizes for guessing who the above was based on). He fills them full of nonsense, makes ridiculous promises and portrays the Tories as Spectre to his James Bond, but still they love him. Theresa May might not be the vicar but she is the vicar's daughter and whenever she speaks, trying to appear understanding and cool, I have to hide behind the settee. It really is not her fault altogether, she is trying to grit out this Hell, but she looks like the family pet that has been kicked for the first time, shocked, afraid, angry and so very tense that it will happen again.
Let's stop this folly now
This can't be allowed to go on. The UK is at a critical point with its negotiations about Brexit and if an election was held tomorrow the worst Labour cabinet in history may well get elected with a working majority. We are, to quote Barry McGuire's 1965 song, at the Eve of Destruction.
Offering a watered down version of the idiocy pedalled by Corbyn, McDonnell and the union barons (freeze tuition fees, tinker with subsidising housing, restore union power, simper around the EU bullies, etc) will only compel any sane voters to withhold their vote from the Tories and as for any people who will vote for Corbyn now?
They could have the real thing so why would they choose the light version?
We need authoritative leadership from the Conservatives. Mrs May cannot give it and non of the other candidates are clear replacements. The real power is held by the 1922 Committee, a group of senior backbench MP's who control the party from behind the scenes.
It is a crisis now for both the party and the country and this committee must step in.
Presently another election would be disastrous. Labour cannot get into power for four and a half years unless the Conservatives open the door by calling for an election and not supporting their leader. This must not be allowed to happen. By that time Brexit will be completed and the way many things look will have changed considerably. All this means certain actions must be taken by 'the 22'.
Take these actions and start looking like a government
All the senior ministers should be called to a meeting and told they must toe the line and afford Labour no opportunities. A pro Brexit leader must be appointed as May's de facto deputy but in effect be the person who is calling the shots.
As this is for the immediate and fairly short term it should probably be David Davis as Boris Johnson is too unpopular and would want to play the longer game. A signal must be sent out that we will leave Europe when Mrs May offered and on more or less those terms or we will leave immediately, pay no divorce bill and strike up lucrative trade deals around the globe. Anyone not able to fully support this (Amber Rudd, Phil Hammond) goes immediately.
Suddenly things seem more under control. May still the leader but running processes not communicating and out of the firing line. Davis able to negotiate with the weight of the party behind him and the timescale clear. No more toadying to bullies. Boris Johnson doing what he's good at, talking up the fact that this Government has more people in work than ever, is the fifth biggest economy in the world and explaining Corbyn's failures with humour and facts.
Liam Fox striking more deals with the growing economies of the world. A hard line taken with terrorists. British judges taking decisions. More confidence, direction, leadership.
Last chance saloon
We are at a crossroads as a country. The 1922 committee must demand the obvious actions required are taken and supported by everyone of substance in the Conservative Party. Anything less and we will have to sample what follows the Eve of Destruction.