Try to imagine the delight and opportunity that playing games of high stakes poker against the leaders of Labour, Liberal Democrats and the SNP would present. It would go something like this.
Vince, dealing the cards, would ask "How many cards Jezza?"
"I'll take one, I just need the king of diamonds and I have all four. Yippee, that's it!"
To your disbelief, he turns it around and shows everyone his new hand of four kings. You of course fold but are astounded when Vince and wee Nikie keep raising their bids. Eventually, they show the cards and yes, Jezza's won.
Next hand and you have a corker. You keep it to yourself but the other three idiots keep showing each other their hands and yapping away. Then they go on raising bids. "It's not our money anyway" wee Nikie sniggers to Vince. Finally, you all reveal your hands officially, although you've known for the last ten minutes the rubbish the others have.
You've done it. Enough money won never to need to work again. The other three moaning away and blaming each other. Dimwits, you think to yourself, who bankrolled them?
Stop behaving like fifth columnists
Well, it's the UK population that's bankrolling them as we speak and I think it's time they shut up and left the EU Negotiations to someone else. We're leaving the EU and it is beholden on everyone to ensure that we should leave with the best deal possible.
These people have been undermining our negotiations from the start, telling the EU that they will accept any rubbish deal they are prepared to give so long as we can have the scraps from their table. Seeking to encourage a belief that if the EU hangs tough the fifth column politicians might find a way of ignoring democracy and keeping us in the corrupt club, bankrolling daft projects and lavish pensions for decades.
On the other side (and in case you've not guessed that's my side) frustrations grow that Theresa May is promising anything to these bullies, but we too have a responsibility to support what she is doing - at least while the negotiations are ongoing. She has been consistent in confirming that we are leaving and trying to be reasonable in getting the best deal for everyone.
And she is having some success!
Macron and Merkel have the real power
The Real Power in the EU is not Junker, Tusk, Barnier and the other self-serving bureaucrats, they only control the money that countries vote to give them. It is the political leaders of France and particularly Germany who have the clout. Macron the French leader believes in the EU and provides much of the political drive, even if the French no longer have the financial power. That is provided by Germany, more particularly now that the UK, the second largest net funder is leaving.
Merkel is having a poor time of it at home. Her ludicrous immigration policies have alienated voters, delivered her the worst polling result in years and let the far right into power.
She knows she can ill afford to threaten German industry, including the car production industry by ruining relations with one of its biggest export markets, the UK. She has been making conciliatory noises lately and that is critical. She is in bed, figuratively speaking, with Macron and he has lately stated that the UK needs to double its offer in relation to the divorce bill.
Take that last information on board. Doubling £18 billion means £36 billion. And the negotiations continue. Given that our three poker playing imbeciles would have already agreed to the ludicrous £80 billion demands of Barnier and Junker, it means the much-maligned Mrs May has already done £44 billion pounds better with more to knock off in future negotiations.
The demise of real Labour
This, of course, has not been widely reported by the BBC, Guardian or Independent. These three mainstream media outlets would rather report on the mischief-making visit corbyn made to the EU where he jumped straight onto the same side as Junker and Barnier, two of the people involved in trying to ruin this country. Corbyn has long been a friend of Hamas Hezbollah and the IRA. Now he wants to be friends with the EU, an organisation he has disparaged for many years because it is now in open hostility with the UK. It is clear he is always friends with the UK's enemies. It shows how far Labour has fallen that they have to kowtow and follow people like him.
What genuine UK politicians would do
We have to get behind May, negotiate hard and get the best deal. I feel it would be wise for May to pull the £18 billion off the table now. Psychologically that would be hard for the EU because they think they already have that money. It would concentrate their minds. But I am prepared to let the Prime Minister negotiate. Any politician who really supported the UK would do the same.
They might speak to her in private and say "in the end, we will only support this outcome, but in public, in the meantime, we will support your negotiating stance." That is what a true political leader would do. Instead, we have people who negotiate like Jack (from Jack and the Beanstalk) and come back with five beans for the cow.
In real life, those five beans won't lead to a pot of gold, just the degrading of our country. Let's not let that happen. Let's get the best deal now and look forward to prosperous, worldwide trading in the future!