Contrary to popular belief the Pakistani nuclear family unit is not strong. In fact, it is highly fragmented and one of the root causes of violence that we see in the society today. Pakistanisdo not even know how to politely discuss what to eat for dinner, let alone voice emotions and grievances adequately.

The deep rooted belief of not discussing issues that may be seen as to dishonour the family. Pakistanishave become so introverted that 'what will the neighbours say' has become 'what will father say?'. Pakistanishave been moulded into mute beings that panic at the thought of a healthy debate, but do not see any problem with the thrashing of a small delicate child.

Pakistanisget embarrassed when there is a kissing scene ina movie whilst watching with family, but do not stand up for theirsisters when they are married off whilst still teenagers. Pakistanisare so used to looking away that even a man publicly getting beaten up is not enough to jolt them into action.

The only narrative in Pakistan is that of hatred, paranoia and silence. A society that values discussion, comprise and compassion does not exist. For e.g. when a Mullahuses the loudspeakers at Friday prayers time to say that Pakistanisshould not be friends with Israel, the peopledon't care to ask why? Pakistanisdon't rush in and say 'dear sir, what's the capital of Israel? Don't worry if you don't know.

Tell mewhat's the capital of Palestine?'

Naturemade me a woman so I would need to bring a box to stand on and a loudspeaker to shout through, as obviously I can't go into Pakistani mosques. A Muslim woman can pray in Mecca, but how dare she go into her local mosque.

For the past 30 years, ever since the days of the self-righteous Zia Ul-Haq, an extreme interpretation of Islam has been taught in Pakistani mosques.

We have witnessed a storm that has lasted several decades in Pakistan with no signs of easing up. We have generations of Pakistani Muslims who have been bought up believing that India, America or Israel will attack any moment now. Pakistani isa nation of frightened and paranoid individuals who do not even know how to research and educate themselves.

Theydon't want to confront the ideology of extreme Islamism, but do like getting angry over a convicted murderer getting hanged. In special occasions like this, Pakistanisalso like to destroy properties, loot small family run shops, and burn tires. See they'reproactive when theyneed to be.

You have a right to develop anger and rage about any sensitive subject. However no law or Religion, gives you the right to physically or even emotionally abuse somebody. If you show and teach your children hate and violence then a monster is what they will become. Raise your children to know how to demonstrate. Teach the next generation of Pakistanis to be compassionate and brave, especially when faced with such dark times.

If you do not, you teach your child that violence really is the answer.

Creating a stable and healthy society also means giving universal human rights even to suspectedcriminals. You must be strong when dealing with crime and justice, but not by physically hurting someone. Even if you only condone torturing a convicted criminal, it will be watered down by a lot of people who assume that they have a right to hurt anybody they disagree with. You will not contemplate whether torturing an 'enemy' will prove to be successful in the longer run. You will not ponder in discomfort whether to speak up when your fellow classmate gets punished by the schoolteacher. You will not feel agony when you witness your father slapping your mother. You will look away when a young woman is stoned to death publicly. You might not be the violent person but you are complacent in these crimes.