Gwyneth Paltrow, never one to shy away from a totally bonkers idea, has yet again opened her mouth (and this time another area of her anatomy) and sparked furore, with an item on her website Goop (and if you value yourself, don't go on there - I clicked, so you didn't have to).

What could she possibly have said or done to cause yet more outrage amongst the permanently offended on Twitter and Facebook? Well, she's admitted to steaming her...well, her *whispers* Ladygarden.

Let's just sit back and examine this a bit further (the statement, not aforementioned

She's said she steams her most intimate areas.  She sometimes takes time out of her busy day as a performer, eco warrior and all round oddball to STEAM HER NETHERS. Not only that, but she doesn't do it with water. Water probably isn't macrobiotic enough for ol' Gwynnie. No, Gwynnie admits that when she has it done (at a clinic in LA) they use Mugwort to do it.

For the uninitiated, Mugwort is a herb that the Chinese use in cooking. You may well put it into your aromatic oriental stews and stir fries. Our Gwynnie chooses to have it hooshed up her fundament, in her words to:

"cleanse her Uterus"

Now, I'm no Doctor. At least the last time I checked, I wasn't. But steaming your private parts with a Chinese herb to "cleanse your uterus"?

Give me a break! This is a very delicate area of skin - applying anything other than warm water and mild detergent of some kind, to clean it, is at best a bit bonkers and at worst a big dose of Canesten waiting to happen.  Our bodies can self clean and detox themselves - they do not need aromatic herbs and a side order of vaporised water to help them on their way.

Naturally, Doctors are up in arms about it - and it's only a matter of time before women up and down the country are turning up at their local surgeries with their lightly boiled cervixes in an empty margarine tub, wailing "We didn't have any Mugwort, so I had to use Brasso, and now I can't get it back in..." 

Gwynnie claims she does it to balance her hormones.

Now, to be fair, if ever there was a woman whose hormones needed balancing, it's got to be her - but there are better and safer ways of doing it. For instance, sensible diet, exercise and not listening to Coldplay. But on a scientific level, even without a lab coat and a degree in Medicine I can tell you that this practice won't balance something that is already perfectly well controlled by your brain, pituitary gland and ovaries, thank you. 

So please, Gwynnie, do me a favour - go and consciously uncouple your lady parts from the kettle, and use it like the rest of us do - for a cuppa.