It’s easy to picture Barack Obama in a pit somewhere recovering from a broken back while President Bane burns Gotham City to the ground, but here’s what he’s really been up to.
Kicking back in the Caribbean with Richard Branson
After a long eight-year shift as President, Barack Obama finally has some time off, and he’s settled right into relaxation mode with billionaire Virgin chief Richard Branson on his private island in the Caribbean. He enjoyed a dinner with Branson, as well as sunshine and a nice, calm bit of rest after eight years of legalising gay marriage and killing Osama Bin Laden, which can put a bit of a strain on someone.
Back when his Presidency was winding down and the end was in sight (quite literally the end of days, it seems), Obama was asked what his retirement plans were, and he said he would be playing a lot of golf. But he’s doing a fair bit more than playing golf now, as he engaged with Branson in a kitesurfing competition to cap off this much-needed holiday. With Obama now a mere citizen and not the President, Branson was not obligated to let him win, but despite Branson’s best efforts, Obama beat him anyway.
Branson put out a blog post after Obama left his island saying that while “there was lots of security around,” the former President was “able to really relax and get into it.” He added that, referring to the kitesurfing match, that after everything that Obama has done to change the world in a positive way over the last eight years, Branson “couldn’t begrudge him his well-deserved win.”
Twitter users want Obama to come back
Meanwhile, the American people are lost without the shining star that is Barack Obama, as their new President Donald Trump is turning their country into a giant target that says “ISIS, attack here!” and making them sitting ducks.
They’re taking to Twitter, begging him to return to the Oval Office and fix everything, and despite the fact that that’s not how it works, he seems to be enjoying retirement too much to care.
While Branson might not be as accommodating to an everyday schmo as he was to Obama, his private island is available for rent by the general public, as long as you’re willing to pay $80,000 a night, which sounds like a lot, but Branson allows groups of up to 34, so it’ll only be $2,353 a night each, and he throws in free WiFi to sweeten the deal.
