Donald Trump. Waa. Jerusalem. Waa. Palestinians. Waa. This is how I, and I have a sneaking suspicion, most others, have seen the coverage of President Trump's decision to recognise Jerusalem as Israel's capital. Anyone who knows anything about what I think will know that I find Trump to be a boorish joke. He is the result of the race to the bottom in political discourse. When politicians, for many years, thought that voters were too stupid to understand the oh-so-complex ideas they were espousing, they set the scene for Mr Trump. Here he came, speaking out on taboo subjects and raging at the Establishment that has left so many behind in semi-legible tweets.
If I were American, I would not have voted for him, but neither would I have voted for Mrs Clinton, who I believe spends her time now wallowing in self-pity. It really was a choice of a rock or a hard place.
As it has transpired, Trump is not much different to his predecessors, Obama included. He promised so much to his supporters and has delivered very little. Where is the famous wall? The migration ban? Why does the Obamacare programme still exist? You would have to have been pretty gullible to have believed even half of what he promised, this is the nature of representative democracy, but people still do it at every election anyway. Who knows whether the next 'outrage' or scandal will bring him down.
Even so, the recognition of Jerusalem as the Israeli capital, perhaps the first really interesting act of his presidency, will probably turn out to be the right thing to do.
There is the throne of David
It may sound clichéd but Jerusalem, the Holy City, is steeped in history. Medieval maps of the world showed Jerusalem as being at the centre of the world, and for much of history, it has been.
It is one of the holiest sites for Christians, Jews And Muslims and has caught the imaginations of millions down the centuries. This is the City of David, where Christ went to die for our sins. This was the target of many of the crusades, a jewel so marvellous that emperors, kings and peasants alike marched across half of Europe to take it back.
When, one hundred years ago today (September 9, 1917), the then Ottoman-ruled city surrendered to General Allenby, he entered on foot, saying that Christ had walked in and so would he. David Lloyd George called it "a Christmas present for the British people", not as other cities that had been captured by Imperial forces but as the holiest city in the Christian world. I've no doubt that Jews and Muslims have their own stories about this unique place.
I won't go into the history of Jerusalem since 1947, there are some excellent histories on this and I could not do it justice. I am as touched as the next person at the sight of bombs raining down on Gaza, I also think it futile to launch a few missiles over the border in order to stop Hamas attacks that are probably calculated to elicit such a response.
I am, however, also a firm supporter of the State of Israel. Whatever your position on the existence of Israel, and there are some who think that, in 1945, the survivors of the Holocaust (who most countries did not wish to welcome) should not have been given a place to call home, we are where we are. The arguments for Israel's right to exist are best set out in Alan Dershowitz's 2003 work The Case for Israel. I am under no illusions the Israelis have done wrong, but nor do I have romantic ideas of Palestinians who would see the destruction of the Jewish state and have been as uncompromising as the Israelis. Indeed, I find it hard to understand how anyone can continue to argue against the right of Israel to exist.
There have been mistakes, certainly, but it is the one country in the Middle East that successfully demonstrates the values that we Westerners claim to adore. Arabs are freer there than anywhere else in the region, in a way that Jewish people (and many others, including homosexuals and women) would not be in the Palestinian territories, even if Israel's self-righteous opponents would argue otherwise. It would be foolish to oppose that one success of western involvement in the region.
Jerusalem the golden
To the location of the US embassy then. It is odd that embassies are located in Tel Aviv, when the Knesset (Israeli parliament) is based in Jerusalem, as are the homes of the president and prime minister and the Supreme Court.
The Israelis call Jerusalem their capital, as do the Palestinians, but Britain and others continue with the foolish notion that an embassy must be maintained so many miles away from the centre of power. The British consulate in Jerusalem exists to; in the words of the Government's website, "provide consular assistance to British nationals in Jerusalem, West Bank and Gaza." I suppose we will continue to pretend that Tel Aviv is the Israeli capital, even if it does not make sense.
Almost everyone is certain that Trump's decision will lead to violence, as though everything the Palestinians do can be blamed on somebody else. Why should it be that we do not recognise reality? The Americans planned to do it years ago, they have only now got round to doing it, having held off for fear of violence.
Perhaps I am missing something but the status quo has not ensured peace in the region, ham-fisted attempts to establish a lasting settlement have come to nought, and still the bombs fall.
In the end, none of us can know what will happen as a result of the President's actions. We can hope it will end peacefully, but it may not. I think it might prove to be a step forward towards securing a lasting peace, and I hope that Britain will follow suit. It would strengthen our ties with a country that deserves our support and encapsulates the values that we claim to hold dear. I certainly hope I am right.