Don't get me wrong, I love Twitter.
I love being able to follow inspiring thinkers in my field, find out about the latest news and job offers, and ream off countless statuses without panicking that none of them are getting any 'likes' (take note, Facebook).
Still, brilliant as Twitter is, I couldn't resist a dramatic eye roll when scrolling through my feed on the way into London last night.
If Twitter is the place where you can access the most up to date news, it's also the place where you can jump to the most incorrect conclusion the fastest, and where your opinion will be shot down by a fellow tweeter faster than you can say "BBC breaking".
As police tried to get to the bottom of the Oxford Circus incident last night, the twittersphere wasted no time in Jumping To Conclusions for them.
Here are the inevitable stages of Twitter once a controversial news story has broken.
1. BBC Breaking
If you haven't been told by a push notification straight to your home screen, no doubt someone you follow will kindly retweet in seconds. Here's what BBC Breaking had to say last night:
Police attending incident at London's Oxford Circus Tube station - people seen running away from scene https://t.co/chyzMaSEFQ
— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) November 24, 2017
Vague and unhelpful, yes, but who cares as long as we're first on the scene? The minions at the BBC send this little beauty into cyberspace, then sit back and wait for the madness to unfold.
2. Panic
Twitter erupts into general panic. Why? Why the heck not?
Terror police swarm London's Oxford Circus as shots fired and fleeing shoppers cower in fear pic.twitter.com/UYzdOZKzPp #oxfordcircus
— Newshub Ireland Live (@NewshubIreland) November 24, 2017
Reports of people fleeing in terror and general panic ignite, well, more panic.
3. The generic well-wishers
Please be safe everyone, stay away from Oxford circus. Not sure what’s happening but praying everyone is ok
— Leona Lewis (@leonalewis) November 24, 2017
Well, I'd been planning on marching straight to the scene of Oxford Circus and seeing what I could do to help, but now that you've said that, Leona Lewis, perhaps I'd better not.
4. The 'I was there earlier's
What a relief!!! Btw, can't believe I was still walking in Oxford Circus area 10 days ago and now this is happening 😭
— アン (@catsinthebox) November 24, 2017
Wow it's actually mad how me and my friend was just at Oxford Circus not long ago and now I'm hearinf something went down in Oxford Circus . God is good to us the fact that we left slight earlier may have been his plan
— Anne-Emilie (@YamaEmilie) November 24, 2017
Whether it was a few hours ago or over a week ago, these special snowflakes want you to know that they, at least, are safe.
5. The Daily Mail sticks its two-pennyworth in
While most reports concede that the hysteria at Oxford Circus was most likely caused by a fight breaking out on a platform, the Daily Mail bases its report on a two-week old tweet to say that yes, undoubtedly a lorry was involved.
Naturally, the completely unfounded news was deleted shortly after.
Daily Mail reporters get their facts utterly wrong in rush to break Oxford Circus evacuation https://t.co/iAQiYI6R9o
— Be Watson (@toosweet2b) November 24, 2017
6. The political opportunists
This seems as good a time as any to make a plug for the NHS.
Whilst everyone’s running away from the chaos in London, we should be thinking of how incredible those are running towards it, those in the emergency services deserve so much. Fingers crossed everyone’s safe 🤞🏻 #Oxfordstreet #Oxfordcircus
— Georgina Balmer (@gina_b1989) November 24, 2017
7. British Transport Police Try to Restore Order
Noticing that the chaos unfolding on Twitter is far more alarming than anything happening on Oxford Street, the British Transport Police take a moment to quiet the public.
Following our call to Oxford Circus, we have been unable find any evidence of gunfire. We remain on scene alongside @metpoliceuk and advise you to avoid Oxford Circus and Regents Street areas https://t.co/z12K8zmgZ9 pic.twitter.com/K1nlCmKEJE
— BTP (@BTP) November 24, 2017
8. The cynics
People who were in the panicked throng moments before separate themselves in order to have a good laugh at anyone still taking the event seriously.
I work near Oxford Circus and still can't believe how lucky I was. If I'd left work ten minutes earlier, I might have seen Olly Murs.
— #GiggsOut (@BenDudley010) November 24, 2017
I was at Oxford Circus earlier this year. When I think how close I came to being shot in this non-existent attack... sends shivers down my spine.
— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) November 24, 2017
9. It comes full circle
Oxford Circus incident over, London police say, with no evidence of gunshots firedhttps://t.co/SA17qaLRua
— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) November 24, 2017
It seems only right that those who started the fire should put it out.
The BBC change tack and state that this whole Oxford Circus thing might not have been anything at all.
Next time there are reports of incidents like this, I'll be steering clear of Twitter until it can get its story straight.