Theresa's brutal reshuffle is underway. Laura Kuenssburg reports that Osbourne was kicked out of the treasury's back door while back-stabbing Gove has been fired as Justice secretary. So it's out with many of the Ancien regime - those associated with Dave - and in with the rising stars... well, sort of. Boris has been appointed foreign secretary. For those who haven't seen the news yet, I'll let that sink in. Boris. Yes, Boris, the man of gaffes and casual racism will represent Great Britain on the world stage. Why has May done this? Well on Newsnight Heidi Allen seemed to suggest that it was a mixture of a move to unify the Conservative Party and to suggest that he must clean up his own mess. The problem with that logic is that you can't clean mess with more mess.
Boris vs Europe
So firstly there's this small problem called Brexit to deal with. In order for Brexit to occur in Britain's best interests, we probably need a smooth operator. How about a leader who has insulted the EU by likening it to the ambitions of Hitler and Napoleon and once made a living by deriding it in the Daily Telegraph? "Great idea!" thought Theresa, probably as her advisors opened their mouths too slowly as she moved to her next topic of discussion. And so we are left with a man ridiculed across Europe for leading Britain to the Brexit with lies, but decided to run from, rather than for, leadership as chaos ensued. May has attempted to cushion the impact by appointing David Davis to the newly created position of EU Exit Secretary, however Davis is unknown in Europe and it remains to be seen if he will be eclipsed by Boris's buffoonery. Which may be her tactic...
Boris vs the World
However there's also this thing called "the rest of the world". A key argument made by Vote Leave is that by exiting the EU we would have the ability to forge fruitful trade agreements the world over. Is Boris the best man for this? Well, in short, absolutely not. While his comments about the EU have unfortunately become so commonplace that people stopped noticing, his comments about the rest of the world are shocking, embarrassing and sometimes just racist. Perhaps the most excusable is calling the President Erdogan of Turkey a "w**kerer", since it was to show defiance towards Erdogan's repression of free speech. Alas, the next gaffe is worse. His description of likely US President Hillary Clinton is as "a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital", though this is vaguely excusable, as he wrote it in an otherwise pro-Clinton article. Then there's that time that Johnson made derogatory comments about President Obama's "part-Kenyan ancestry", as though his distant father's nationality affected his attitude towards Britain. And let's not forget about Boris Johnson blowing apart the middle east peace process by siding so strongly with Israel that his visit to Palestine was curtailed - the perfect example of a future foreign secretary in action. Finally, although there are far more examples, we can look back to when Johnson described those people who are now meant to become our biggest trading partners, the Commonwealth, as "flag-waving piccaninnies".
God help us.
Naturally, May has thought to restrict Johnson's involvement in this aspect, by creating the new position of International Trade Secretary, which went to Liam Fox. However, Boris is still second only to the PM in international relations and there is only so much damage limitation that can be done. As Mayor of London, Boris was fairly suited. All he had to do was be loud and sell Brand London. But, ladies and gentleman, he is now our Foreign Secretary. A man of buffoonery will now present Britain to the world. If anyone could ruin Britain's standing in the world further than the EU referendum result already has, it will be Boris. Worryingly he has probably already been given the phone numbers to heads of #Government worldwide - perhaps the international buffoon could start by making some apologetic phone calls. #Prime Minister #United Nations