US President Donald Trump’s little rivalry with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has always seemed like a d*ck-measuring contest – albeit one that could end in the Third World War and a global nuclear holocaust – but neither of them have ever said anything as on-the-nose as Trump’s recent comment that his “nuclear button” is “much bigger and more powerful” than Kim’s. It doesn’t seem very much like he’s actually talking about his nuclear button (although that would probably be a good name for it).

These reckless and immature comments have drawn criticisms from political experts and Democratic Party officials, with some describing it as “Freudian.” Trump has shown that he has a bad case of tiny penis syndrome ever since he began his Presidential campaign.

Any time anyone questioned the size of his hands, he would get all angry and defensive, once saying, “If [my hands] are small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee you.” Gross.

Trump’s comments came after Kim said during his New Year’s Day state address that the button he uses to launch his nuclear weapons is “on his desk at all times” for maximum convenience. In response to it, the US President – never one to put things delicately or dance around a dangerous subject – asked if “someone from his depleted and food starved regime” would tell their dictator that he also has one of those nuclear buttons, and that it’s “much bigger and more powerful” than his.

Trump added, “And my button works!”

Kim says his nuclear arsenal is ‘completed’

During his New Year’s Day speech in which Trump only picked up on the penis analogy, Kim said that his arsenal of nuclear weapons has now been “completed.” He’s had scientists working on his nuclear weapons night and day, trying to get a roster of powerful arms, including his star addition, an intercontinental ballistic missile that is capable of reaching US soil from safe on his own soil in North Korea – and from his desk, apparently, if that’s where his launch button is.

If the North Korean arsenal of nuclear weapons has been, as Kim claims, “completed,” then that means the intercontinental ballistic missiles that he has been tested over the last few months (leading to condemnations and threats from China, Japan, South Korea, the United States, and eventually the UN) have been perfected and North Korea is now able to nuke America.

However, he could easily be lying, since Kim controls the media of North Korea and he can use it to say whatever he wants. There’s no CNN or MSNBC in North Korea – it’s all Fox News (not literally; it’s an analogy).

Comments come as South Korea reopens contact line with the North

Trump made the comments about his big, impressive “nuclear button” as South Korea’s government in Seoul have reopened their communications line with Kim’s regime in Pyongyang, up in the North. This proposed contact and negotiation has gotten a lot of political pundits hopeful that the nuclear crisis that we’ve found ourselves in the throes of can be solved calmly and diplomatically, but America’s UN representative Nikki Haley says that the US government will not be taking any of these talks seriously if they do end up taking place.

Many experts and some left-wing US elected officials have been responding to Trump’s “nuclear button” comment, with Connecticut’s Democratic Congressman Jim Himes saying that after these remarks, he has realised that “it doesn’t really matter” what Trump, the President of the United States, says anymore, because everything that comes out of his mouth is “so bizarre, strange, not true, [and] infantile.” Geez. And this is the guy they supposedly elected to run the country and be the leader of the free world. What were they thinking?