When women talk about the dangers they face at the hands of men, they always get the reminder of "not all men."
Any woman going on a date with a man knows that not all men Rape, not all men abuse, and not all men are violent. If that were the case we'd all just stop getting into relationships. However, there's the question of whether all men are potential abusers, and whether it's justified for women to be aware of that potential.
Taking a photo for security
On July 17th, a Twitter user posted that before getting in his car, his date took a photograph of his License Plate to text to her friends.
When questioned about what happened next, he stated that he left her.
Unreal... pic.twitter.com/uIlkTxCsN7
— Read A. Aura (@steenfox) 18 July 2017
The woman's precautions, ensuring that her friend would be able to trace the car should she go missing, offended him enough that he would sooner cancel the date.
Women react
After the conversation was shared on Twitter, numerous women commented on the thread to state that not only were her actions justified, but they have done the same or similar, and the fact he reacted negatively implies her precautions were particularly wise.
I guess dudes don't know how real it is out here. Because it is. that. real.
— Marie Denny (@s_mariedenny) 18 July 2017
The risk women face every day are genuine, and they're risks we have to live with.
Whether we're told not to walk home alone at night, warned never to walk with our headphones in, or carry our keys in our hands to use as a defence, the risk we face just existing in normal life is ever present. And they're risks that men don't face in the same way, don't have to consider in the same way.
Accepting that not all rapes or attempted rapes are reported, there are approximately 85000 women raped annually in England and Wales alone, compared with 11000 men.
Whilst every person faces potential abuse and assault, for women the chances are just that much higher.
So... he was exactly the kind of guy she needed to be wary of?
— Doctor Facilier (@battymamzelle) 18 July 2017
The question is, why would the woman look to protect herself turn him off that much? If his date being, and feeling, safe when out with him is a problem, it implies he would prefer her in danger.
Even if that isn't the case it indicates a lack of respect for her feelings that mean she was absolutely better off left behind.
All the women who are murdered and assaulted and he thinks getting a license plate is creepy. pic.twitter.com/Yal5uiz6V9
— Katya Biv O (@katya_biv_o) 18 July 2017
For women, the offensive problem is the danger of being abused. For men, it's women acknowledging that danger.
They ignore the daily news stories about terrible things that happen to women. They don't care.
— Read A. Aura (@steenfox) 19 July 2017
This is the crux of the issue. If you're a "nice guy" but don't acknowledge the epidemic of violence that is perpetrated against women for the sheer fact they are born female, then you do not care about women.
Just because you wouldn't personally do it does not erase the fact that women are raped, beaten, trafficked and abused every single day by other men, and until it happens there is very little you can do to know for sure if the man you are with is one of those dangers.
Staying safe
Women have the right to live and exist in the world with as much freedom as men, but men have the responsibility to respect women's right to protect themselves in a world full of potential danger.
