Remember when we thought "The Emoji Movie" was the end of cinema and Sony having anything resembling credibility? Well, they've somehow managed to stoop even lower. It appears that Sony has not learnt their mistakes from their live-action "Smurfs" franchise (quickly abandoned and rebooted this year to mediocre results). Here they are to butcher another children's literary classic, this time taking the form of Beatrix Potter's "Peter Rabbit." If you listen closely while watching the trailer, you can hear Miss Potter giving Sony the middle finger.
Twerking, pigs in blankets and making it rain
The trailer starts with a panning shot of Peter Rabbit (disastrously miscast by James Corden) hopping down an idyllic sunny meadow as a narrator explains that he wears a little blue jacket. The trailer then cuts to a group of pigeons singing in an almost clever visual gag - and Peter runs them over in obnoxiously bad slapstick.
Then we cut to Peter being "hip" with the other farm animals as the soundtrack plays in the background. This includes "making it rain" with leaves (totally appropriate for a Film aimed at families and children). Then there's some bantering with a fox (which really made me wish I was watching Zootopia) and partying like a US fraternity house until Mr.
McGregor (Domnhall Gleeson) comes home and does the most cliched ending of bad kid's film trailers: scream at the top of his lungs.
Oh yeah, and there's a literal pig in a blanket and deer in the headlights. "Ha Ha Ha."
Less 'Paddington' More 'Cat in the Hat'
It's obvious from the trailer that the marketers are trying to cash in on the appeal of 2014's "Paddington," a surprisingly witty and touching film which brought justice to the character in a modern setting.
There's a major difference between "Peter Rabbit" and "Paddington" - the humour (and writing, cast, and visuals). Paddington's story was simple and the humour was derived from the characters' quirky yet complex personalities, not dated pop culture references or obnoxious toilet humour which plagued children's films in the early 2000s (need I bring up "The Cat in the Hat?").
This Peter Rabbit would have been dated ten years ago, let alone the 2010s, and on top of the insulting humour which seems to believe children will find anything shoved in their faces funny, the cast is wasted.
The cast needs to fire their agents
I have no problems with James Corden as a person. His rise to fame in America since his "Gavin and Stacey" days still surprises me now and I commend him for still going strong. However, his voice as Peter Rabbit is unbelievably obnoxious. Corden comes across as if he's the type of person who'll do anything to get his name on something, even if it means voicing an unfunny comic relief hand in a movie about emojis or kissing Sean Spicer at the Emmys. Clearly going for the "everyday man" like so many of his past works, this doesn't work for Peter.
Other than the fact he was a mischievous yet kindhearted child in the Beatrix Potter books, Peter would not be the fast-talking, twerking little jerk*ss partying all night long which the movie portrays him to be.
According to The Guardian, we also have Margot Robbie, Daisy Ridley and Elizabeth Debicki voicing his sisters Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail. Then Domnhall Gleeson and Rose Byrne are in live action roles as Mr. McGregor (much younger than his literary counterpart) and Bea. Do I even need to explain why this casting is insulting to their talents? I can't even say they're only in it for a paycheck because every single actor has been going strong over the last decade! I can only imagine they'd be involved in this as a favour to their agents or director Will Gluck (responsible for "Easy A", "Friends With Benefits" and the god-awful 2014 "Annie" remake which Byrne starred in).
Stop it Hollywood!
The Hollywood nostalgia craze has been prevalent over the past decade, and frankly, I'm sick of it. Peter Rabbit is an example of everything wrong with this odd trend of modernising classic stories/franchises along with "Garfield," "The Smurfs." "Alvin and the Chipmunks" and the aforementioned "Cat in the Hat." All they do is make you appreciate the source material because they know they don't have the substance or intelligence to do a little something I like to call charm or emulation. They manipulate you with the nostalgia goggles for a quick buck and because they think children are stupid and parents will buy into it. It's extremely rare that this "genre" succeed nowadays, and I'm glad people have been calling foul play on Peter Rabbit for its degradingly insulting take on Beatrix Potter's classic.
Peter Rabbit will be released on February 9th 2018. Avoid it at all costs.
