Shame is the one thing that prevents us from walking through a supermarket undressed when we feel like we’re having a really good ab day. It is what stops us from telling even our closest confidant about that dream we had about Fox Mulder from the "X-Files". And though shame can protect us from extreme embarrassment, it can be detrimentally inhibitive. Personally, I lost all my shame the second I had to participate in a limbo contest in front of 2000 people with their iPhones pointing in my direction. And since then there is not a damn thing that has the power to embarrass me.

I am in charge of my own shame. In the interest of full disclosure and proving myself right, here is a complete list of things I should probably be more embarrassed about, or at the very least have the good sense to never tell anyone!

Let’s talk about love people: How to find it

*Reject every guy who approaches you. Even if he was just going to ask for the time, reject him anyway. If he keeps trying, he must really like you.

*Remember that a partner will only respect you as much as you respect yourself. Don’t go looking for it.

* Have a career. It'll be hard to care about the other side of the bed being empty when it is filled with stacks of cash keeping you warm.

How to keep it: The list

*Consistently knock your partner down a few notches.

Not so far down they lose the confidence you first found attractive, but just far enough to remind them they will never do better than you.

*Openly talk about anything, nothing is off limits.

*Be okay losing it. You are the prize that must be won.

How to know he's the one

*If he always holds your hand when you cross the street.

*If he brings you coffee in bed every morning because he knows without it, you are a monster.

*If he leaves you sweet notes literally everywhere: under your pillow, in your books, in your luggage, sometimes between the bread of a sandwich.

*If he always opens the car door for you. Manners are classy as hell.

*If he forgives you for that time you went jogging together and you pulled ahead and screamed “HELP!


*If he thinks you are the most beautiful with no makeup on and frizzy air-dried hair.

*If he adopts the dog you've been eyeing to help you recover from surgery.

*If he buys you a car, but it ends up being the biggest fight you ever have because you are irrationally defensive of your independence, so he reluctantly trades it in and forgives your ungrateful response.

*If you mention ice cream at 10 PM and he quietly sneaks out to buy you ice cream at 10:02 PM.

*If he is not intimidated by the fact you have your own bank account and pay your own bills.

*If he has always made you feel like the prettiest girl in the room, even when you were just friends. Even when you were mean to him.


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