In 2009, Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, posted on her blog the recorded regrets of her patients just before they died. As a result of her recordings, the most common regret is related to the lack of closeness in their relationships.
Ware's observations showed that regrets over relationships came first in the minds of her dying patients. Her book, Top Five Regrets of the Dying is an inspirational source covering dreams, family, feelings, friends and happiness. If death is an existential truth, how many of you are aware of what would be your biggest regret on your dying day?
Here are the top five ways to live a happy life with respect to the Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware:
1. Give priority to your dreams rather than others’ expectations
Steve Jobs said: “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of another people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."
According to Ware's observations, a person, who is just about to die, is starting to consider the missed opportunities in the life. She says that most of her patients haven't made true more than half of their dreams, and so, they are blaming themselves.
Keeping in mind the above quote from Steve Jobs this is definitely something that needs to be considered right now.
2. Work can wait, but family time passes
It was clear that most of her patients had regrets about not spending enough time with their children and their partners. Rather than the older generations, both males and females are working hard in order to adapt to their busy lifestyles.
Time spent with families can make you happier than the income achieved by working. Ware suggested that we can be happier 'by creating more space-time".
3. Always be honest and respect others
Would you be sorry if people react in an unexpected way as a result of your expressed true feelings? Most people try not to offend others, but it would be worse if you regret not telling the truth when it needs to be told.
Ware says that most of her patients got worse as a result of this distress. Philosopher Confucius asked: “Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?” With reference to respecting other peoples' opinions, it is still important to express your true feelings.
4. Don’t wait to call your friends
Many people often understand the importance of their friends only after they've lost them. It would be better not to wait too long before calling your friends who you love and arrange to spend time with them. According to Ware, “Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. Happiness is a conscious decision
Socrates said that “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” Instinctively, people tend to follow newer desires rather than enjoying the satisfaction of achieved ones.
As a result, happiness is a decision and it is not served by the life itself.
Bronnie Ware says, “Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
If we know we will not have the second chance that Jon Snow was given in Game of Thrones, why are we waiting to change something in order to prevent the possible regrets? The last thing we want to be asking ourselves the question just before dying: “Why?”
