Some footballers go through their playing lives being referred to solely by their actual name; others, however, are targets of hilarious, awful, and mocking nicknames from which they can never escape.

1. Dion Dublin - 'The Shower Clearer'

A nickname that basically explains it all, Leicester-born and now TV pundit and Homes Under The Hammer presenter, Dublin had a lengthy career in England, playing for Manchester United, Coventry City, Aston Villa and Norwich City et al. But, Dion became famous for a different "length" as Sir Alex Ferguson revealed in his first autobiography.

The revered Scot waxed lyrical over Dublin's manhood: "Big? It isn't big. It's magnificent! I've seen some whoppers in my time, but Dion's is something else." Hence, the tag 'Shower Clearer' took hold (no pun intended) for reasons that Fergie spoke so eloquently about.

2. Stuart Pearce - 'Psycho'

Born in Hammersmith, London, Pearce made his name as a defender for Nottingham Forest, making over 400 appearances for the club. With 78 England caps under his belt, Pearce will forever be remembered for missing one penalty kick and scoring another for his country.

Throughout his glittering career, Pearce became renowned for his ferocious character whilst operating at the back.

And, in an era when footballing prima donnas began to plague European Football, Pearce earned the nickname with his total commitment and no-nonsense approach on the pitch. After missing his first England spot-kick in the 1990 World Cup semi-finals, he redeemed himself in Euro 96; smashing home his penalty in the quarter-finals, the 'Psycho' came rising to the fore as he punched the air numerous times and with an expression that shocked even the hardiest.

3. Peter Crouch - 'Rodney'

At six foot seven, Crouch is second only to ex-Birmingham striker Nikola Zigic (a mere one inch taller than Crouch) as the tallest ever Premier League footballer. But, it is not always rainbows and butterflies being this height (despite being up there amongst the clouds) as Crouch found out. With a gormless looking expression and the height and wiry frame to match, Crouch became likened to Rodney Trotter (Nicholas Lyndhurst), a star of the British sitcom Only Fools and Horses.

It is a nickname that is perfectly apt for Crouch's character too; his robotic dance has become something of a legend in English football and, in 2010, the striker was voted the funniest man in British sport for his response to the question, "What would you be if you weren't a footballer?" He won nearly a quarter of the votes in the poll with his reply:" a virgin".

4. Cesar Azpilicueta - 'Dave'

A youth product of Spanish side Osasuna, Azpilicueta moved to Chelsea in August 2012 in what would be Rafael Benitez' first and only season in charge of the Blues.

Due to Azpilicueta's name being, well Azpilicueta and therefore difficult to pronounce, both the Chelsea faithful on the terraces and his teammates on the training ground and field simply addressed him by the mononym 'Dave'. Chelsea fans have grown to love for his footballing ability the Spanish international ever since his arrival, even though they could not and perhaps, still cannot, pronounce his name.

5. Dennis Bergkamp - 'The Non-Flying Dutchman'

Born in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, Bergkamp made his name for Dutch side Ajax before moving to Inter Milan after seven years in his home nation. After two disappointing seasons in Italy, Bergkamp moved to Arsenal where he rejuvenated his career and then some, winning three Premier League titles and four FA Cups as well as being voted as the scorer of the best goal in Premier League history in 2017.

Bergkamp acquired the affectionate nickname after Arsenal fans heard of his phobia of flying. Unfortunately, his fear stemmed from an incident with the Netherlands national team at the 1994 World Cup where the plane's engine cut out during a flight. And, following the incident, Bergkamp declared he would never fly again. His reasoning was pretty clear: "I can't fly. I just freeze. I get panicky. It starts the day before when I can't sleep".

This issue often hampered Bergkamp's ability to play away matches in European competitions for both Inter and Arsenal and to travel with the Oranje for international matches. The extent to which he despised air travel was such that he would travel overland by car or train, but the logistics of some matches were too complicated, meaning that he would not travel at all. In doing so, both his club and country were undoubtedly made weaker.
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