One might think that in the #21St Century, where technology and apps can help us with literally everything, including the easiest activities, #dating wouldn't be a big problem. There are hundreds of websites, where you can find your potential soulmate. Yet, so many people find dating a nightmare instead of pleasure. So when did we stop enjoying first dates?

For me, dating is actually a completely new thing. When I was younger and most of my friends were getting into their first relationships, I was too busy studying to become one of the best students at school (really). I was seeing a few guys, but the truth is that I didn't care.

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I was indifferent if there would be another date or not. Then again, I fell in love with someone I already knew and the whole 'dating' phase was skipped. Suddenly, I was involved in something bigger than 'let's-go-to-the-cinema' kind of thing. But I finally grew to do things right and I realised that I do understand why people might not like dating.

We've got too high expectations

There are way too many romantic films, where first dates are shown as absolutely flawless. Which girl wouldn't want to be taken to a 60s-like date? Where you share a milkshake, there's always something to talk about and it's not awkward at all? I would kill for a date like this. I would even wear a polka-dot dress to complete this vision of a perfect date! But the truth is it's very unlikely to happen. First of all, we don't know that person yet.

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We're stressed, we don't know if we can be 100% ourselves and we keep thinking "what if he's going to think I'm weird?". No matter how hard we try, sometimes it might be a little awkward. But it doesn't mean that it's bad. We're only humans, we will never be perfect. Films are just creation of someone's imagination. First dates in real life are better because they're... real.

First impression

Another reason why people might not enjoy first dates is we get discouraged so quickly. They say something we don't necessarily like and we immediately give up on them. Unfortunately, we have the tendency to judge others so easily. Without checking the background and facts, we create opinions purely based on something that can be completely insignificant. We concentrate on someone's flaw and let it overshadow the person as a whole.

The problem with dating in the 21st century is we've simply lost the ability of honest, face-to-face communication. We don't know how to speak to people because we are so accustomed to using social media to establish relationships with others.

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The truth is that we can be whoever we want to be on the Internet. Confident and sassy, but when we actually meet someone in real life, it's hard to maintain "the Internet personality". We can't hide our facial expressions behind the phone screen anymore and take our time to think of "the cool answer". We meet people online and then we're so afraid of who they might turn out to be that we find out everything about them, before we actually speak to them. We check their, (and often their friends!) Facebook, Instagram and imagine we know who they are. And we really don't.

Our past is a reminder

But the truth is we don't like first dates because they are... scary. We all have history, good and bad memories related to someone and dating means that we'll be vulnerable. Again. And we might end up getting hurt. AGAIN. I look at one of my best friends, who's been through so much and still goes on dates. She still believes in love. We all are covered with scars of the past. People have this funny (and very useful) ability to forget the bad things. So we risk and put ourselves out there, trying to find love. Over and over again until we're truly happy.

So many of us give up after a first date without even realising that we might miss out on something special. Instead of quitting so quickly, we should give it a chance and appreciate it, even if it doesn't exactly look like they show it in our favourite films. #Relationship