It is unbelievable that the EU can choose to deal with the United Kingdom in the way they presently are doing. This is not all the Government's fault as anti-democratic troublemakers from all sides are trying to pervert the will of the people and sabotage negotiations. We cannot tolerate it. As an illustration of the absurdity, imagine for a moment that we were now, as a nation, considering joining instead of leaving the EU. Perhaps Jean Claude Juncker and Michel Barnier would be chatting easily after a replete meal at an expensive restaurant with Theresa May and David Davis. It might go something like this:

Do we really want a deal with people like this under these conditions?

"So you #UK types wish to join our thriving EU do you?"

"Well we were thinking of it, we could perhaps negotiate a deal? Could we see your accounting reports?"

"There will be no negotiation.

Advertisements
Advertisements

We do not require accountants to confirm our accounts are true and accurate. We make our own rules. You are in the big boy's yard now. This is what you will do! Hand over to the EU £350 million per week £18.2 billion per year. There will be no silly rebate of £6 billion per year as some of your advisers suggest. We will, however, return £6.7 billion per year for farmers and other UK science, education etc projects so your net payment will only be £11.5 billion pounds per year about £220 million per week."

"Crikey that seems a bit steep!"

"Silence! you must also hand over absolute control of your laws to our wonderful European Court of Human Rights."

"But we've controlled our own laws since the 13th century. We have the longest established legal system in the world and a lot of people in our country think your laws are too soft on the villains and care more about their rights than the victims.

Advertisements

Abu Hamza, Abu Qatada, votes for prisoners, prosecutions of troops defending their country. The list goes on."

"Imbeciles, we are not interested in what ordinary people think. We have five various presidents of institutions within the EU. They are the people who make all decisions. Now, we will also allocate numbers of refugees from Asia and Africa for you to home. Angela Merkel declared European borders open and we now have tens of thousands each year flocking over. You will need to allocate and pay for rescue boats, the bigger the better, to cruise the African coast collecting migrants from small craft and ferrying them, some to Italy and Greece, but those countries have taken many already, so you will have to take most directly to Dover. This will reduce the pressure on the French in Calais, the programme will have many benefits as you can see."

"If I might just ask, how do we know none of these people is Islamic extremists? After all, ISIS swore to send Jihadist fighters over, mixed in with the migrants."

"You racist wretches.

Advertisements

You already have thousands of homegrown terrorists on watch lists, why do you discriminate against adding more Asian and African terrorists? Dear Lord. Now back to our demands. You will not be allowed to trade with any other countries outside the 27 members unless we all agree on a trade deal with them. You are fortunate, we will negotiate on your behalf."

"But the USA, China and Japan have the biggest economies in the world and India, Canada, Australia and dozens more are desperate to sign trade deals with us as well. Please let us trade with them, our economy will thrive."

"No, you abide directly by our desires. You pay as soon as you enter and we expect ongoing payments for five or ten years after you leave."

"So we inherit all the idiot schemes you already have and then have to pay for any more you force us to make, years after we go? What about the assets the EU buys with our money?"

"Obviously they remain with us after you leave so our enterprise can thrive. Come on, hurry. Your Labour and Liberal friends and Scottish Nationalists have already told us you will agree to any of our demands. What are you waiting for?"

Threatened and blackmailed by the school bully. Not standing for that!

All this is what we are being blackmailed into agreeing to by an organisation we have been the second biggest net contributor to for many years and to whom we have offered parting terms that already help them far more than ourselves. The EU has massive problems with Hungry, Poland the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Austria, Holland France and Germany all seeing massive gains from right-wing anti-EU parties, as well as economic chaos in Italy and Greece and social upheaval in Spain's Catalonia region. Germany the biggest driver of the EU presently cannot even form a government after months of trying.

We would never consider joining an organisation in so much trouble and who treated us in the way illustrated above. It would be ridiculous and insulting. The UK is the fifth biggest economy in the world. We must put down a deadline that says accept the 20 or 30 billion pound offer by Christmas or we walk away. We will then strike trade deals with the dozens of powerful established and emerging countries who wish to trade with us and utilise World Trade rules with the rest. We will adjust our trading to be even more business-friendly and use the £40 billion demanded by the EU to offset any temporary financial difficulties for UK businesses instead of throwing it to the mad project to waste.

Then look at the faces of Juncker and Barnier. They will be a picture! #European Union #Conditions