Whereas once Online Dating was something embarrassing and an act of lonely desperation, the rapidly growing world of technology combined with people's increasingly online lives has thrust internet dating to the forefront of how couples meet. With Tinder, Match and online flirting on social media taking the front seat.
When first talking to any potential date there are numerous ways to ruin it with a terrible first impression, and now online dating is so prominent there is a world of people at your finger tips to do badly with.
I shared one of my own terrible introductions in July 2017 after a stranger attempted to flirt with me online, despite me being in a long term relationship with the father of my children, and was affronted when I asked who he was.
Don't be coming into my messages calling me babe and not expecting me to ask who you are. pic.twitter.com/do8bHMmtQ8
— JJ Barnes (@JudieannRose) 3 July 2017
The leap from babe to bitch got me fascinated by how common this experience is, and lead me to discover the incredible world of Bye Felipe.
#ByeFelipe
In October 2014, the hashtag #byefelipe was launched by Alexandra Tweten with an Instagram account designed to record some of these interactions, and the Women of the world responded. Now searching out #ByeFelipe is an easy way to discover the disrespectful, and often objectifying, way that men will speak to women online when things don't immediately go their way.
Some dude just msg'd me asked if I was intimated by a hung guy, I just replied seriously no wonder you are single, bye felipe! #byeFelipe pic.twitter.com/IprLAL3CgD
— Andrea Camara (@AndreaCam31) 4 July 2017
Going straight in with the penis talk says you're only interested in her as a sex object, there is nothing about being objectified that is appealing.
It shouldn't surprise me a Bernie Bro turned out to be a douche bag when turned down. You can find him at @ dynastynyy #byefelipe pic.twitter.com/1s33UmmnVQ
— Summer (@GroomerBunnie) 27 May 2017
While obviously aggressive and unnecessarily cruel, this kind of treatment of women is indicative of the society we live in where two women a week in England and Wales alone are murdered by their current or former partner.
It may just be words now, but this level of violence in language could indicate a serious threat and should be taken seriously.
This is how @jorge_wsn talks to women he doesn't know on the internet. #beingawomanonline #byefelipe pic.twitter.com/eL46Fklo7c
— Maria WC (@MWalshco) 12 April 2017
If you don't respond in a timely fashion, you too could be labelled a bitch.
The belief that women are there purely for the pleasure of men is the root cause of this kind of reaction.
Someone just asked me what my name was. Before I could answer he said "slut or div, what do you prefer?"#ByeFelipe #fuckboy
— Vanessa (@CurvesCocktales) 17 November 2016
Who knows what this one was even trying to achieve? This propensity to refer to women as sluts whether they accept or reject you is indicative of a society which requires women to be sexually available but then shames them for being so.
Is online dating worth it?
When example after example keeps flooding in of the way men will speak to women online, it would be easy to suggest online dating is just not worth the risk. But it's important to remember this; these men are not contained in cyber space.
They are free roaming, interacting with women in their daily lives, women who possibly have no idea about the kind of men they are. The lack of repercussions in online dating is why these reactions come so thick and fast. But if this attitude is inside them when they're online, it is inside them when they're in face to face relationships too. This kind of reaction is a clear display of the man they are.
Online courting is not exclusively used by the kind of men who would treat women so poorly. Indeed, there are fifty million registered users of Tinder alone. Online dating is used by people from all walks of life, they just reveal themselves more rapidly from the safety of their phone.
